Guns

American politicians recently passed a vote in the house to impose some sort of ban on assault rifles. I couldn’t be bothered to read any of the details because It’s a monumental waste of my time. The bill doesn’t have a snowballs chance in hell of passing in the senate, and the congressional effort is barely even symbolic. Kind of like thoughts and prayers.

I personally find the American debate over guns pretty typical of the way Americans conduct themselves. They create a symphony of noise that’s full of divisiveness and vitriol. Then everyone takes a side so they don’t have to examine the root cause. Finally, whoever is making money from this particular American problem simply throws some of that money at the right senators, and the profit and the problem remain untouched.

But you know what?

The gun lobby is correct. Guns don’t kill people. People kill people. However, I think it’s a safe assumption to conclude that it’s a hell of a lot easier to kill people if everyone has a gun.

So, it would seem to me that the first question you might think to ask once you’ve decided that gun restrictions are unconstitutional is, why are Americans so fond of murdering one another? This seems like a reasonable question to ask when the Uvalde body count is like a quiet Friday in Chicago. But I guess those Chicago Fridays are black Fridays, and so no one really gives a shit.

I watch the gun control advocates reference Canada when they’re talking about reasonable gun restrictions. Yes, we have background checks and safety training and a few other assorted regulations for felons and magazine capacity. But Canadians still own a shitpile of guns, and we tend to not shoot each other with the regularity of our American neighbors. In all the after mass shootings furor I’ve never heard an American commentator ask why.

Which is odd in my estimation.

So. let me state one obvious reason and one not so obvious reason. The obvious reason is that we make it very difficult to own handguns, and concealed and open carry is considered ridiculously irresponsible. It’s not that difficult a concept to grasp in my estimation, but apparently the idea of handgun restrictions doesn’t resonate with Americans.

I understand the dilemma of your average American though. If I lived in the land of the free I would have, and likely carry a handgun. I would do so because you’re pretty much forced to assume that almost everyone else is Glocked up, and has spent time rehearsing for that moment when they feel threatened. I’m not inclined to take an argument to a gunfight, and so I would likely be armed. For defensive purposes of course.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the average American doesn’t wonder if the angry person coming toward them after a fender bender is carrying. I think though, that I would covertly open my glove compartment, or think about un-holstering just in case. Because that guy coming toward me looks angry. Kind of threatening actually.

And that shit doesn’t happen in Canada, because almost no one has handguns. As a result, minor disputes rarely if ever escalate into a duel or a massacre. So, there’s an obvious root cause. Get rid of the handguns and the O.K. corral mentality should go with it.

But Americans aren’t going to do that because of freedom, so I’ll move on to another root cause that isn’t as obvious. I mentioned earlier that from time to time I hear American commentators citing Canadian gun laws as the reason we don’t have the same volume of shootings as they do.

This is kind of true. The law itself is just a bunch of words though. However, the effect of those words is that handguns and extended magazines are rare, and so the lower rates of gun violence are because of something we don’t have. Which are the ways and means to turn an argument into a felony with a squeeze of a finger. What we’ve done is place limitations on opportunity for gun violence.

And I’m pretty sure that Americans consider that opportunity a right.

Just like the opportunity to spread lies and hatred is viewed as free speech, and therefore a right as opposed to a privileged responsibility. Which leads me to the not so obvious reason for the American murder rate.

The hatewave that permeates the country. I’m talking Tucker and Teddy and Alex and Donny. I’m referring to Marge and Matt, the Bobert woman, and a host of other opportunists who’ve discovered that invidiousness is a money maker.

At first I thought that all the online hatred was strictly the purview of bots and trolls, but I was mistaken. Although that may have initially been the case, it’s apparent that there’s a healthy appetite for acrimony in America. It also looks to me like the consumers demand that rancor be delivered just like their fast food.

Huge servings of tasty fare with no real idea of it’s individual ingredients. Processed, packaged and delivered to your doorstep in thirty words or less. Kind of like spite sliders or terror taters. Easy to swallow and you don’t have to chew on them very much.

Fast feud cuisine for those on the go folks who don’t have the time or inclination to forage for themselves. And just like fast food, the people who manufacture the fast feud are making a fucking killing.

Because just like the burgers and taco’s, we the people are possessed of an equal appetite for fast feud. .Not for anything novel mind you, but rather for a variety of the same fare. But if you peel away the burger bun and the taco shell what you’re really looking at is sodium and sugar and fat. And if you peel away the lies and conspiracies from the feud peddlers, all you’re left with is fear and malice in a self serving crust.

And oh by the way, neither feud nor food in the fast variety is good for you.

So, if you incorporate fear and loathing into your daily life to an extent where it’s considered normal, then how wise is it to work as hard as you can to ensure everyone is packing a pistol?

I suppose there may be no correlation at all between the hate mongers and handguns, But it seems likely to me that the more you make people despise one another, the better the odds that those weapons will be used. Maybe that inalienable right to bear arms is going to be required not for protection from a tyrannical government, but rather from your neighbor who voted differently than you.

Or Antifa or BLM.

Or the oath keepers or the proud boys.

Or immigrants.

Or whatever bogey men the hate and fear peddlers decide is the flavor of the day. So, the not so obvious reason I’m hinting at here is the platform and adulation provided to the con-artists pretending to give a shit about America.

We don’t have those same malevolent celebrities in Canada. I’m not sure why but we don’t. I think the closest we came to that mix of of unhinged and uneducated in a package was Don Cherry. I’d like to hope that the reason we don’t have airwave assholes is because we can see them for what they are, but I haven’t forgotten that Don Cherry had a fanbase that thought he was a salt of the earth patriot.

So, I don’t think Canadians are immune to assholes. It could be that our time is coming and we’re just lagging behind the Americans for the time being. But I have this nasty feeling that if the Tuckers of the world manage to turn America into images of themselves, then it’s only a matter of time before they look North for someone else to hate for profit.

Someone different.