Random

Just some random thoughts and observations to begin this year of our lord 2019.

Sarah Sanders Tossawasp gives me the creeps and I have this compelling urge to punch her in her face each and every time she speaks. I think it would be much easier on everyone involved if she would just carry a placard that reads, ” I have nothing else to add, the president has been very clear on this.” As the white house press secretary it would seem to me that ole Tossawasp has high end insight into her boss’s lack of clarity (lies) and so I’ve determined that she is in fact mentally ill. An illness of the mind would also explain how she could state with a straight face that she wants her legacy to speak of her honesty and transparency. Also, it looks like one of her eyes is getting droopy. I think it’s progressive as her brain numbness spreads downward. She should probably pay attention as the year progresses when people keep asking her if she’s had a mild stroke.

I’ve decide that if you’re passionate about your politics then there’s something incorrect with your political system or there’s something wrong with you. Politicians should be capable administrators with high levels of communication ability. Not cult of personality hate inducing shit bags. Save your passion for art, sport or music. Governance is about procedure, decorum and truth and the only political passion I find acceptable is devotion to the three tenets I just listed.

I’ve been watching the Toronto Raptors and I’ve got a couple of questions. First of all, is travelling a penalty in the N.B.A. or not? Secondly, is there some sort of system that I don’t understand around how fouls are called? I’m not a seasoned basketball fan but it seems as if there’s an unspoken ranking of superstars and they get to the free throw line based on how big their endorsement deal is with whatever athletic gear they wear. It would be interesting if hockey followed suit. I think Connor McDavid would like it he could go offside with impunity and if a penalty were called anytime an opponent tried to prevent him from scoring. Kind of a Lebron McDavid scenario.

Lebron. I always think of him as “the muscle” which is my loose translation of the French, “Le Brawn.”

Isn’t it amazing that the legalization of weed in Canada is a non-story? The sun has risen, the earth hasn’t stopped rotating and the land hasn’t descended into lawlessness. I’m guessing that there are some behind the scenes scrambling to adjust workplace drug policies, but for the most part Canada appears to have shrugged and moved on. A person would think that this should be a lesson for the people that resisted this most obvious of changes to our law, but I’m not holding my breath. Lessons are learned after you’re able to admit you were wrong and people aren’t very good at admitting their logic may have been incorrect. I expect there to be a few legal matters to iron out regarding roadside testing and the technology to accurately determine impairment. But, I expect those issues to be quietly resolved in court by judges that are seeking clarity before punishment. I also expect American companies to begin trying to buy out the Canadian growers. Also I anticipate the Natives across the Dominion will want in on the action, so I expect Native grow and sales operations that have a different perspective on taxation. Kinda like cigarettes. The Natives can have some fun naming their different weed varieties for sale. I suggest Assiniboine Assinibong, Chocolate Chipewyan and Haida High-yeah.

I was watching this video of Chinese Canadian protesters in Vancouver. They were protesting the Chinese phone executive being detained in Canada. I was left to wonder if those protesters realised they would get tianamened if they protested in China against anything not approved by the commie thug in charge. Just the fact they were protesting in Canada without having to stare down a tank is enough evidence of the difference between our legal systems. I remain hopeful they appreciate the irony.

Speaking of thugs. I expect Russia to fabricate a reason to invade a section of the Ukraine. Putin will use Russian nationals as the excuse and make up a few convenient untruths about Ukrainian terrorists and then get on with the business of rebuilding the Soviet empire. I suspect the Don will do fuck all except maybe make a note to himself that Vlad might have a good idea that can be borrowed. Maybe America can invade part of Mexico because of the terrorist refugee crisis. Then he can position armed troops to defend the American border only from the Mexican side. To wrap things up neatly, he can then use all of the Guatemalan terrorists currently waiting in Mexico to build his wall. I’m sure one of his advisors has told him those people are handy when it comes to construction and they’re just sitting around doing fuck all anyway.

I think one way to measure the success of any country is if they have an immigration problem. Have you even noticed that Russia, China and North Korea don’t have any problems with illegal immigrant caravans? If those countries build walls then they’re more in the line with the wall of Berlin in that they’re designed to keep people in. Notable exception being the Great Wall of China which was designed to either keep out Mongols or monsters depending on if your assessment of the wall includes Matt Damon.

Speaking of the movies. For some reason right now all of my favorite cinema personalities are women. I like Scarlet Johannsen, Jennifer Lawrence, Hillary Swank, Jennifer Garner, Kate Winslet and Charlize Theron. Not sure why it’s all girls at the moment but I recommend The Westernist, A Little Chaos and Winters Bone if you haven’t seen them. Actually The Dressmaker is kind of quirky and cool too so I recommend that movie as well.

I think that North America is due for a major earthquake or volcano. Hopefully not the Yellowstone fucker or we’re all screwed. One of the American coasts is the most likely and I could be wrong but the West coast is probably beyond their due date. I predict Trump will not be unhappy. He doesn’t own any property there and they all voted against him so I’m sure he’ll find a way to blame the democrats if L.A. falls into the sea.

Why do the receptionists at Doctors offices ask specifically why you want to see the doctor? I really don’t feel comfortable passing along my bodily malfunctions to the lady that answers the phone and it seems kind of intrusive of them to ask. I guess they get to make timeliness decisions about how soon you get an appointment, so if you decline to share personal information then they can punish you by making you wait three weeks. I live in a relatively small town and I’m not interested in sharing with receptionists so I guess I’ll wait for my appointment.

Andrew Sheer, potential P.C prime minister has made another commercial. The entire ad talks about how we should vote for Andrew because his mom was a nurse. Who knew that being raised by a nurse makes a fella the right kind of stuff to run the country? Nurses are great to have Andrew but not all nurses are ideal people. Elizabeth Tracy Mae Wettlaufer was a Canadian nurse too. But she was a fucking serial killer Andrew. Seriously Andrew I could not give one fuck what your mom did for a living. Why don’t you make a commercial where you stop bobbing and weaving and tell Canada what your frigging policies are? I really don’t see the value in bringing mommy into the discussion. Truth be told Andrew, it’s a little creepy.

Jesus, I hate talking about Donny Trump. But, I just watched video of his televised cabinet meeting. I don’t even know how to describe what I just witnessed. Infantile, unhinged, surreal, and inane I guess. The man is certifiable and dangerous. He actually approved of the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the day and adopted a Putin post Afghanistan reason for the initial invasion. I really don’t think the man has any historical knowledge at all and it makes me wonder where he got his information because I don’t think Fox has talked about Russians and Afghanistan lately. The more likely information culprit is a Christmas Eve call to Vlad. Donny made certain to mention in his meeting that he spent the holiday by himself. Alone. Unattended while the democrats were all at home, although to be accurate the Republicans were at home too but he neglected to mention that part. Accuracy and Donnie are not on familiar terms though and no one even blinks anymore as Calgary stampede volumes of horseshit spew from his mouth. It’s likely that Vlad reached out with a phone call in recognition of Donny’s Christmas sacrifice and that’s where he got his horseshit storyline from.

The most off the rails part of the meeting wasn’t twisted perspective or trampled facts though. The most inane segment of the meeting of the people who run the United States happened when the Don called on his cabinet members to praise him. I shit you not. It was like watching a Festivus ritual from an old Seinfeld episode.

God, I hope the world is blessed soon with the departure of this man. He’s made stupid acceptable and irrationality something to embrace. Truly the epitome of the ugly American when you mix in vindictiveness, racism, unadulterated and greedy opportunism, sexism and a host of other ism’s that are borderline psychotic.

It kind of sucks to be his neighbor. You’re constantly wondering what the fuck he’s going to do next. Maybe he’ll close the Canadian border in a trade tantrum and use legal weed as his excuse to protect America. God forbid a red state runs out of water and someone tells the asshole, “hey, them dope smoking little Justin Canadians got themselves more water than they need.”

Just a few thoughts and I warned about the random part.

Happy new year from Canada by the way.


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