I’m beginning to think that if an unidentified body were delivered to the coroner that they might be able to be identified because they weren’t sporting any tattoo’s.
It wasn’t all that long ago that in order to be a walking permanent marker that you had to be a sailor, an inmate or a member of a biker gang. Or possibly a member of the extreme path, or as they’re more commonly known, the Yakuza. The extreme path is a very cool translation from Japanese to English. I’m not interested in getting a tattoo, or joining the Japanese mafia, but I’m definitely liking the concept of the extreme path.
But I’m only liking the concept. The reality of anything extreme is that probably around 50 % of the time the word shitty can be added as soon as extreme morphs from an adjective to an adverb. Extremely talented for example is generally a good thing, until that talent evolves into extreme narcissism. Likewise extremely virtuous is good, but extremely religious is usually not.
I’m assuming that hordes of people might disagree with my labelling of the extremely religious as a bad thing, but I’m guessing that those in disagreement haven’t spent much time studying history. I dunno man…….I can’t rid myself from feeling that religion is like a giant soother that people suck on so they can feel secure, without thinking too much about the fact it’s actually a fake tit.
I was talking about tattoo’s so I’m going to slide back to that topic after one more observation about the extremely religious. They’re not all assholes, but every religion that’s caused physical or mental harm have eventually pulled off shit that’s aptly described with the word extremist.
And I can’t think of any religion that hasn’t caused harm in one fashion or another. Too often spectacular harm, by the people who dismiss the Jihadists and crusaders as the extreme element of a rational and peaceful doctrine. Kind of like turning sport into extreme sports, only with beheadings and inquisitions.
Anyway back to tattoo’s.
I like my screensaver. But I also like the fact that I’ve set the background up so that it changes every month. I think I’d get tired of staring at the same cityscape if I had it for the rest of my life. Maybe that’s why so many people get that first tattoo out of the way, and immediately start thinking about getting another one. Something else to look at in the mirror I guess. But what I find puzzling is the selection process. It’s pretty straight forward if you’re a Hell’s Angel, but how does your average soccer mom decide on their ink blot?
I think the ink is supposed to say something about you,. A statement of some sort, and I suppose there’s still some truth to the making a statement position, but it doesn’t appear to be a requirement anymore. Tramp stamps for example were originally a mark of erotica, but now I think they’ve become more prevalent because other than a person’s ass, the lower back offers the largest canvas. Also, unless you’re obese, the lower back likely has the least wrinkles, and so the entirety of the tattoo can be displayed. And I’m reasonably sure that display is part of the reason for getting inked up. You want people to know you’re edgy, and that you had some spare cash kicking around.
Because tattoo’s are expensive.
I looked up tattoo options and for a minute I thought I’d inadvertently stumbled onto a Starbucks menu because the options were small, medium and large. The large choices ranged from 500 to 5000 dollars depending on the complexity and the reputation of the person sticking needles into you, and the small versions were around a hundred bucks. So, depending on the size of a person, some of the people that are completely tatted up on every available surface are walking around with a BMW’s worth of skin art.
Unless they have shitty tattoo’s. Then I guess we’re dealing with a Ford Pinto, or in today’s market, probably some model of Kia.
So I’m thinking that if a person is willing to pony up five grand for a statement piece, that some consideration would go into what exactly that statement might be, other than that it looks cool. I’m beginning to think though that more and more people are arriving at a tattoo parlor, or studio, or whatever the fuck the establishment is called, with no decision other than having decided to go for it. I guess that’s why the inksters have a book you can look through to find something that resonates. Kind of like looking at fabric swatches or flooring options.
Plus if you pick from the catalogue then the odds are the application isn’t new to the needler, and there’s a much better chance they won’t fuck it up. Commonality breeds some consistency and so you don’t see many botched bicep barbed wire tattoo’s because they’ve got a template.
I was actually debating a tattoo a few years back. I told a friend of mine that If I could find a decent rendition of the DNA helix that I might be persuaded. Said friend then went and got the helix on his forearm. I think it must have been the first time that design had been done by his guy, because to be honest it kind of sucked.
Maybe there should be an apprentice program where the tattoo artists make a deal with families at a funeral home. The apprentice or his studio picks up a portion of the funeral costs and they get to practice on your dead relative.
Now that I think about it, the idea of getting unalive inked might get some traction to where people might actually pay for it. Our sepulture rituals could use a shake up from traditional norms, and the concept of taking a message with you to another realm should appeal to people dabbling in new age spiritualism, and to people’s with roots in old age spiritualism.
Like North American first nations and the Māori, who from the look of things are already a fan of tattoo’s.
I’m thinking the tattoo studio might have to come up with a new book of ink options if we decide that adding body art to burial rituals is a good idea. Although if we decide to decorate the dead it would be easier and cheaper to just let the family draw on grandpa with a permanent marker. That way even the little grandkids could join in, and if you needed to it wouldn’t be a problem to attach a stencil with tacks so those kids didn’t draw outside the lines.
I’m sort of off topic here. Having a look squirrel moment.
So back to selection of tattoo’s for the living. It seems to me that as body ink becomes more and more popular that there doesn’t appear to be any rhyme or reason to multiple tattoo’s. I’m inclined to think that a theme is a good idea, but the more tattoo’s I see the more evident it’s becoming that random appears to be the flavor of the day.
It just seems weird to me to see a Disney character on one arm and a cobra on the other. So let’s get it together people. Pick a theme and stop decorating yourself to look like a doodle pad.