I looked for, and was quickly able to find a slew of sites that listed the warning signs that a person’s in an abusive relationship. The sites were similar in content with only minor variations in wording.
Anyway, I’ve concluded from my research that my American neighbors are in an abusive relationship. Like all good neighbors, I’ve got to say I’m concerned but I’m not sure what to do. There’s too many of them for an intervention, and like all abusive relationships, the abused seem conflicted and confused. Some of them think it’s a normal relationship. Some are automatically offended if abuse is even suggested. Some Americans know in their heart that the shit is happening, but they’ve chosen to ignore the abuse because it’s a family matter and one doesn’t speak of these things in public. Some resist the abuse as best they can, and endure the added heaping of abuse for pointing out the abuse. Some are revelling in the situation and enjoy being an abusive bully asshole.
Here are the warning signs:
https://psychcentral.com/blog/21-warning-signs-of-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship/
- Humiliating or embarrassing you.
- Constant put-downs.
- Hypercriticism.
- Refusing to communicate.
- Ignoring or excluding you.
- Extramarital affairs.
- Provocative behavior with opposite sex.
- Use of sarcasm and unpleasant tone of voice.
- Unreasonable jealousy.
- Extreme moodiness.
- Mean jokes or constantly making fun of you.
- Saying “I love you but…”
- Saying things like “If you don’t _____, I will_____.”
- Domination and control.
- Withdrawal of affection.
- Guilt trips.
- Making everything your fault.
- Isolating you from friends and family.
- Using money to control.
- Constant calling or texting when you are not with him/her.
- Threatening to commit suicide if you leave.
I don’t think that all 21 of the warnings need to be fulfilled to qualify your relationship as abusive, but I’m willing to bet that if you put a check mark by more than ten then the odds are you’re living with or handing out abuse. At least in terms of the definition of abuse this site provides.
The situation to the South is ugly and it’s uncomfortable to watch. It doesn’t matter if what you’re watching is a neighbor slap his wife around, or the president mock someone in a wheelchair, grab some pussy, and then lie about both incidents while he wipes his ass with intelligence reports.
It’s kind of the same thing.
What was at first surprising and has now become alarming is how many of my neighbors approve of this behaviour. I find it very challenging to watch the abuse unfold in a public forum, but it looks like somewhere around 4.2 out of ten Americans disagree with me. In fact those 4.2 out of ten feel empowered and liberated from the yoke of correctness imposed by those fucking libtards.
And that’s just the maga crowd.
But, the abuse doesn’t start and end with the man who currently sits in the white house or whatever golf course he’s frequenting at the moment. The abuse is much deeper than one man and one house.
Everything in America is a fucking fight, battle or war. A war on drugs or a war on literacy. A fight for rights or a battle in the senate. A trade war, a nationwide fight over a fucking wall, and last but not least, a war on non-white Muslim terrorism.
The only time a consensus is reached in the land of the free is when the entire country has agreed on a common enemy. And then they declare war on that enemy. Because that’s the best solution for any American problem.
To be fair to the Americans, they didn’t invent war. They’ve just perfected the art of conflict so that it extends into every nook and cranny of their lives. The second amendment isn’t just about the right to carry a weapon. It’s also about the real or perceived necessity to carry a weapon.
It causes me to wonder about how America has arrived at this particular necessity, and as I pondered the why, I concluded that you eventually need weapons when you live in a perpetually abusive situation.
The American lust for conflict is truly everywhere, and it starts with the Benjamins. Consider that capitalism itself is a continuous war of staggering proportions. Any attempt to fetter the unfettered is socialism, and the word is spat with equal derisiveness from Bitch McConnell to Ann Coulter to anyone over fifty in Florida.
Because cooperating as a society to a common end is only appropriate in America if you’re in a war. The rest of the time that cooperation is an infringement on someone’s rights, and so a fight always starts about who’s right about rights. This fight generally occurs in a courtroom, which is marginally better than ending up in an O.K. corral. The fact that most fights end up in court is mirrored by statistics and the law of supply and demand. America has about 3.3 lawyers per thousand people and about 1.3 doctors for that same thousand citizens. I guess what that data suggests is you’re more likely to be sued than shot, but hey it’s still a fight right?
Americans have pretty much given up on the notion of agreement. Even treaties or trade agreements are viewed lately as a win or lose scenario. Negotiating with an aim to mutual gains is apparently as anti-American as gun laws or banking restrictions. It’s a necessity of the group American psyche that someone has to win and someone has to lose.
Somehow, somewhere, someone concluded that delivering constant vigorous abuse is a great strategy to feel like a winner.
So, American abuse has become institutionalized and very tribal. As a result people pick sides and not solutions. Think about the news networks for a moment. The viewpoints are so radically opposed that an eavesdropping alien would likely wonder if those news organizations were reporting on the same event. The abuse is delivered with snarling venom and sneering sarcasm across the airways of America and everyone seems fine with the setup. Because it’s a war.
Hiram Johnson famously stated that when war comes, the first causality is truth.
If his statement is accurate, then the United States has in my opinion elevated their local and nationwide grievances into an undeclared but full out war. The truth has become an inconvenience bordering on irrelevant, and the fight has become at least as important as the disagreement that started the fight in the first fucking place.
And the abuse is everywhere.
Right wing talk radio is just abuse with commercials. Daytime talk shows used to be about celebrities. recipes and an assortment of feel good stories. Now the co-hosts argue about politics and periodically lose their shit with each other during the process.
America can’t even have a funeral without a public argument about who didn’t get invited. And how exactly did they get to the point that they can’t hold a funeral for a deceased soldier without a fucking protest going on? How did they get to a situation where bikers provide security from abuse at a funeral?
If you’re tired of watching or listening to the warring newsrooms, then you can switch to the internet and watch random strangers fight and abuse the hell out of one another. I saw a video the other day of some white lady losing her shit on some brown people. I kind of tuned out the details, but I did have a glance at how many views the video claimed to possess. Thousands and thousands of views. I figured that half the viewers thought she was a stupid racist twat and the other half thought she made a few good points. My suspicion was confirmed once I had a look and saw that they were fighting about it in the comment section.
The level of abuse has gone on for long enough and in such quantity that it appears being abusive has become a default position. Everyone has accepted the behavior as normal. If you’re not aggressively abusive then you’re a snowflake pussy. The problem with accepting abuse as normal is that in order to be noticed it’s necessary to ratchet up your outrageous. So, increasingly hateful bullshit has become the order of the day from anyone wanting attention.
And I think that the current president of the United States and his Gollums have greatly assisted the normalization of constant abuse. Go back to the list of 21 and give some thought to Mr. Trumps twitter abuse. If that’s not enough for you then sift through his message from any red hat rally. Still not enough? Read his remarks about Africa, Mexico and America’s traditional allies. Abuse is all he knows. It’s been his lifestyle for the entirety of his adulthood.
And 4.2 out of ten people admire the man and agree that his abuse is a great fucking way to behave.
It seems to me that after a period of time that the 5.8 out of ten will have had enough of the abuse. Then what do the 5.8 do?
I guess you apply the American method and declare a war on abuse.