The Art Of The Deal

I guess this thought applies to the entire world in one form or another, but I think that the United States of America could use a professional mediator. Perhaps if the warring factions could agree on a neutral party, then those factions should just elect that person as their next president. At least then the opposing bases would have someone in power that they don’t distrust with a passionate hatred so intense as to defy belief.

And logic.

The situation South of the border reminds me a fight between siblings over inheritance. A fight where two brothers or two sisters are so committed to acquiring what they believe they deserve, that they’ve stopped caring if the only winner of their prolonged battle is going to be the fucking lawyers.

In fact, with the amount of litigation that follows the Trump family, it seems as if America has become even more litigious, assuming that’s even possible. It makes me wonder what the MAGA people were thinking when they elected a president, who for the entirety of his adult life has been unable to resolve any dispute without a gaggle of lawyers in tow. What thought process concluded that a man like Donnie would be capable of resolving any disagreement either at home or on the international stage when his history clearly shows otherwise?

Seriously, did any of the red hat wearers think that Iran or China would give a fuck if Don threatened to take them to court? I’ll assume that the answer to the preceding question is no, and so I can only conclude that the fight was more important than any donnie deal.

Maybe it’s just me, but the red hatters appear to be confused over what constitutes a deal. I’m of the opinion that a deal is an agreement that two opposing groups have mutually agreed upon. Red hatter logic tells me that a deal to them is getting everything they want and fuck everyone else. If you don’t like it then take a look at our military.

U.S.A……….U.S.A………U.S.A.

So, America decided to elect a bully. A typical schoolyard, lying, cowardly, get someone else to do your dirty work bully. A friendless, pathetically hollow man whose only aspirations are self enrichment and to be noticed.

That’s the real deal ladies and gentlemen of America. There is no art. Just third rate reality television drama. There’s no diplomacy, no tact, no truth and no philosophy to the man, other than to generate one classless spectacle after another.

Let’s talk about Donny’s hair and Donny’s heir.

This leader won’t be seen in the rain because his hair will lose it’s airiness and he doesn’t like the image that would impart. This narcissism trumps everything, including a first world war wreath laying ceremony at an American cemetery. And yet this same no show at Belleau has the nuts to call out kneeling black athletes for disrespecting the flag. That’s pretty fucked up if you think about it for a minute. The man’s image and his part in the spectacle was more important to him than honoring dead soldiers he claims to adore. It’s an odd and convenient patriotism don’t you think?

Then there’s Ivanka. She’s the epitome of the Trump spectacle where image is more important than substance. Surgery and silicone so well done that her father has publicly lusted after the creation that is Ivanka. Sadly, brain surgery is more complicated than a new jawline and a pair of tits, so there’s nothing that could be done for her cognitive abilities. But, in this version of America, brains don’t matter. She’s perfect if all you want to do is look at her. But, she’s a senior adviser to the president of the United States and her daddy sent her on diplomatic trade missions. That’s as fucked up as Don’s hair or Melania’s immigration status and her anti-bullying campaign.

But it’s consistent with this most puerile of presidencies.

Image and brand are now more important that substance. Ratings are more important than the truth and a spectacle is more important than a coherent policy or a logical thought.

I’m puzzled by red hatter logic toward this president and his family. Let’s say that one of the Carolina trumpsters had just left the rally. Lets say that the trumpster in question was so buoyed by the Don show that he decided to buy a used truck on the way home. An American made truck. At first glance the trumpster is impressed. The paint looks good and it has a lift kit and there’s room on the back window for a confederate decal.

So, far so good right? The truck is visually appealing and you’re confident that people will notice you because of the lift kid and the absence of decent mufflers. Plus those tires, look at those made in the US of A studded motherfuckers.

But, trumpster or not, there’s a need from the truck buyer to look under the hood and check out the interior. Hell, they might even look into the history of the truck a bit and see if it’s had any accident or maintenance issues. Because buying a truck is an important decision not just for image, but financially as well. Consideration is given to the real life pain you’re going to have to suffer from buying a truck you think looks great, but runs like shit, guzzles gas and has had roughly the same amount of bodywork as Ivanka and Melania combined. You probably won’t buy the truck if you look under the seat covers and see the stains from years of sex with hookers. You probably won’t buy the truck if you can see the warranty is actually an on line scam that does’t honor its commitments unless you take them to court. You probably won’t buy the truck if the speedometer doesn’t indicate speed accurately. The state trooper that stopped you for speeding might not buy your argument that his radar gun is fake news.

So. if you won’t buy a truck because you know the fresh paint in the box is hiding the fact the truck has hauled nothing but shit for years, then why wouldn’t you apply some of that same logic to politics?

Open the hood for Christs sake. Peel back those seat covers and sit in the box long enough that you can smell the shit regardless of the new paint smell.

Then decide what kind of deal you’re really getting.

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