It didn’t surprise me in the least to see an alliance of Trump and the evangelical dicks. In many respects they’re mirror images, and I’m sure that privately they hold some mutual admiration for one another. Had they existed, the American Jesus crowd would have been firmly in the Gentiles encampment back in the days of the Nazarene. But American evangelicalism is a relatively new phenomena so I would suggest they have transformed from Gentiles to Genitals, and I shall refer to them as such for the remainder of this post.
So, back to similarities. Let me count a few of the reasons why.
- Don and the genitals love rally’s. They like their people maskless and indoors.
- Neither Don nor the genitals pay taxes
- Both Don and the genital leaders are wealthy, and the bulk of their supporters are not.
- Both Don and the male Genital leaders have difficulties keeping their penis in check.
- Both groups think science skepticism is a valid outlook.
- Both Don and the Genitals have started their own university.
- Both Don and the Genitals love the uneducated.
- Both Don and the Genitals want to limit gay rights.
- Both Don and the Genitals freaking adore Florida.
- Both Don and the Genitals have embraced prosperity preaching. As long as they’re the one that prospers.
- Both Don and the Genitals solicit for small cash donations from their followers.
- Both Don and the Genitals are almost exclusively white skinned.
So. it would appear that Don and the Genitals is a marriage made in heaven. Although Don would most likely demand a prenuptial, and the odds are reasonably good that one of them would screw around with a hooker or a pornstar or a secretary. So, assuming Don can’t twitter start a civil war, then what will become of this union when he departs the house of white? Have Don and the genitals become one? If this allegiance is mandated by a higher power then will both party’s abide by Daniel 19:6, and what God has joined together, let no man separate? It’s hard to say really. They have so much in common and their followers tend to overlap, so it might be a relationship that will endure the test of time. However, to be fair to Don and the Genitals, there was never a ceremony where they exchanged vows. The relationship is probably better described as an affair or a business deal. Most Americans get the concept I think. It’s kind of like printing In God We Trust on your money and then using that money to pay off porn stars and alter boys.
I’m guessing that Don actually learned something from the Genitals. It’s likely that he won’t give them credit and claim the idea as his own, but it’s hard to ignore the fact that Don adopted a Genital solicitation method. A method where where you solicit five dollar sheep donations in the name of your cause, and then use that cash for private jet’s, mansions and to pay your bills. Makes a fella wonder if the Genital leaders just skipped over Timothy 6: 10. That love of money, root of all evil, erred from the faith, many sorrows thing.
But hey, the bible is pretty interpretive. Riddle wrapped in an enigma and all that, and the Genitals have always been graciously liberal with which parts they like and which parts they ignore. Don is equally as hypocritical and has always viewed the law in the same manner the Genitals view their book. Interpretively, and the rules are written for the sheep. A Romans 2:14 scenario where they ignore moral norms and are a law unto themselves. Which reminds me of another similarity between Don and the Genitals. As soon as either of them are called out for their selective disregard of the law or their book, they immediately whine about being persecuted. I don’t think they quite qualify as American martyrs though, because their lies and cries of witch hunts cheapen the definition of martyrdom. Wal-martyrs might describe them more accurately.
I think I understand the relationship between Don and the Genital leadership. The profit prophets and Donny have expenses to pay. Those private planes don’t pay for themselves, and grift is preferable to flying coach with the flock.
But what about that flock? They didn’t get a Lear Jet or a Florida mansion, so why did they vote for a three times divorced, lying, potty mouth, all around asshole? And what does this flock of Genitals have in common with the rest of the Trump voters?
I think they can all identify with Matthew 5:13. I think they believe that they’re the salt of the earth. I think they feel as if they’re losing their flavor and have been thrown out and trampled under foot as worthless.
By the Libs.
Maybe that’s why the MAGA crowd and the Genitals both savor owning the Libs as much as they do. Perhaps they feel disenfranchised by what they view as a relentless tide of liberalism. A tide that makes them bake cakes for a gay marriage and listen to rap music in elevators. Maybe this own the libs fascination is rooted in the fact they feel as if the Libs have owned them for the last while, and Donnie boy was their last real hope of maintaining their preferred status quo.
Maybe.
But there’s one aspect of the Genitals beliefs that isn’t shared with the rest of the Maga horde. That would be end of days, Armageddon and the return of white Jesus. If you think about it for a bit, Donnie was also a good candidate for making that happen. Moving the American embassy to Jerusalem was a great start, and sending a Jewish son in law to celebrate the move was also marvelous. Rapturous in fact. All Don had left to accomplish was to convince the rest of the world to go to war over the Jews getting all of Jerusalem back and voila, Christ’s return ticket would be purchased.
But even with the two Christian Mikes at the state department and as Vice President, the all out war hasn’t materialized. Yet that is. Donnie has a few days left in charge and as his persecution complex combines with his narcissism there might still be time and opportunity to throw a hissy fit and nuke Tehran.
The rapture Genital’s remain hopeful.