When I was a kid we always had a Labrador. Sometimes the dogs would for some reason choose to bury their noses in the occasional crotch. When that happened and the victim was female, my mother would invariably point out that the lab in question was a bird dog.
Bird being one of the back in the day options for describing the female nether regions. In retrospect, bird is a relatively tame description compared to the choices that are used for the same anatomy descriptions today.
All of these Avian memories just made me wonder if a bird in the hand makes America great again?
I will admit with some reluctance that arriving at a maga proverb mix from a starting point of the family lab is a little unusual. But I’m not inclined to apply any discipline to my thought processes unless I’m compelled. I like to think of myself as a free range thinker. Free range has a nice ring to it, and it’s a hell of a lot less demanding than adhering to the parameters of any particular school of reasoning.
And now a thought or two regarding acts and words of stupidity.
Thought one.
I find few things more frustrating than a delay prior to a stupidity reveal. If you’re going to say or do something fucking moronic then do me a favor and don’t begin with plausible sanity, and then morph to utter stupidity part way through your narrative.
Do me another favor and wear your red maga hat or your anti-vax t-shirt before you ascend your pulpit. Don’t start your dissertation pretending to have an opinion that deserves some of my attention, and then whip out the red hat after I’ve invested some of the limited time I’ve got left on this planet.
It’s fucking rude and a waste of my time and yours. Treat every moment as if you’re re-entering your home country after a trip abroad, and you’re faced with the “do you have anything to declare” question. If you falsify your answer, then you shouldn’t be surprised or offended with a negative reaction after stupidity leaks from your mouth, or the smell of weed leaks from your carry on.
Thought two.
Angry and stupid are most often mental soul mates. Like Romeo and Juliette or bacon and eggs, they were meant for one another. I get this sense that the defence of a stupid argument is so untenable that the need to infuse anger is pretty much a prerequisite. Unfortunately, stupidity fueled by anger disguised as passion has always been popular because it’s simple and temporarily effective.
In fact you can mix passion, stupidity and anger in any order you like and nothing changes. Anger fueled by stupidity works just as well as stupidity fueled by anger. The passion part is just an excuse to not feel any responsibility for the acts committed in the name of angry stupid.
Thought three.
We are again in an era where stupid angry has become normalised. You can tell when the facts of a disagreement become less important than the volume of that disagreement. This situation has historically led to much sadness and it’s pretty fucking likely our final destination this time around too.
And now for a free range moment.
How can you have a selective wall and still call it a wall? If Americans in general approve of avocado’s, lettuce, cheap labor and cocaine from Mexico, then how can they disapprove of Mexicans from Mexico? Americans don’t want a wall, they want a door and they want custody of the key. Petroleum, flat screen tv’s, tomato’s, and beer are all Bueno. Pedro, Consuela and the Niño’s are mala. Cocaine, fentanyl, and heroin are Bueno y malo.
Which leads a fella to another free range moment.
America doesn’t have a drug problem. At least not in the way the discussion is being framed. The real problem isn’t the drugs. It’s that the money from those drugs are ending up in a billetera and not in a wallet. So, if America wants to solve the drug problem at their Southern border then they need to start buying American. That means made in America, and then one of Don’s campaign promises will be fulfilled. Maybe Purdue or Pfizer can use their tax break to start building some fentanyl factories. They’d have to devise a new pricing scheme though, because if they use their insulin or oxy price model then Americans are just going to look toward Mexico again.