Being distressed should be the theme of the State of the Union address for the old but new president of the non- united states. Because it seems from my vantage point, that the entirety of the country has determined their default setting is some variety of agitation.
Joe needs to begin his speech by imploring his fellow Americans to calm the fuck down.
The mindset is like a volume knob on an old school stereo. There’s always going to be noise but the disquietude of the volume is dependent on whose hand controls the dial. At this precise moment I get the sense that America is a large dysfunctional family, with everyone fighting over the remote so they can control the volume and content of their preferred message. The dial settings range from anxiety to distressed, with a myriad of options in between those two settings. Americans seem to adore the noise though, and unless someone decides to replace fluoride with methaqualone in the water supply, it sure in hell doesn’t look like a prolonged silence is in the cards.
It appears that the departure of Mr. Trump and family may provide something of an interlude to the American cacophony, but I expect the relative stillness will be short lived. Americans begin to fret if things remain peaceful for any length of time. It’s probable that Mr. Trump abandoning his responsibilities golf carte blanche is mostly responsible for the cessation of hostilities. Others have tried to keep the discord fresh, but it appears that the president has other interests. It could be that it’s tough to twitter with a golf glove on, or it could be that the hundreds of millions in his legal fund is a sufficient parting gift from his base.
No matter the reason, the hush is much appreciated. Hell. we’ve had two bubble appropriate gatherings since the election, and both times made it through the evening without any mention of the American president. That’s a record for the last four years and much appreciated. So, I’d like to extend a thank you to the American voters for the provision of this brief respite from the incessant noise of the Trump years.
Before the clamor begins again I’d like to take this opportunity to talk about a few things that I find vexing.
Every time that some distinguished American commentator talks about democracy as the great American experiment, I’m immediately pissed off. The arrogance is astounding. For starters I’d say that two hundred and twenty five years would suggest that you’re no longer experimenting, but that’s not the part of the remark that I find most irritating. What pisses me off is the suggestion that the concept of democracy and freedom is somehow uniquely an American idea.
Cleisthenes and two centuries of Athenian democracy may beg to differ, is all I’m saying. Sometimes I’d like to suggest that Americans take a break from their myopia and look around for a moment or two. Perhaps even ask themselves if there’s an historical example that’s reflective of their current state of affairs. Maybe there’s a lesson to be learned from the Romans or the Greeks.
Like a strong man emperor type showing up when the Senate is fractured and in disarray.
Speaking of Caesar, here’s a quote or two from the Emperor himself that would suggest that although the players will change, the play remains the same.
What we wish, we readily believe, and what we ourselves think, we imagine others think also.
and,
What a terrible era in which idiots govern the blind.
Enough of Julius. I was intending to talk about being bothered. After some reflection I decided that damned near everyone lives in a perpetual state of agitation. Not just the Americans, and so I should temper my opening American observations with the codicil that worry and woe is worldwide. The Americans just do a better job of recording, sharing and arguing about every insipid detail and perceived injustice than everyone else.
That’s exceptional.
Hand sanitizer and face masks are starting to bother me. I’m going to continue to comply but I had a moment the other day that caught me off guard. We’re not locked down and so we can go Christmas shopping and I was dragged out by my wife to assist. Store number one had a hand sanitizer requirement and an attendant to make certain everyone obeyed. I complied and promptly was reminded about the hangnail I’d been playing with for the last few days. It stung enough to make my eyes water and I found myself getting overly pissed off for what was really a minor inconvenience. But, I breathed deeply and carried on into the shop to offer my opinion on gift options my wife thought were cute.
However, there were three women shopping a few feet from us, and all of them had decided that covering their noses with their masks was unnecessary. The sanitizer Nazi was assisting them but was ignoring the mask maxim and I found my hangnail annoyance rising to another level. I was going to say something but my wife was with me and she hates it when I do shit like that, so I told her I was too hot and went to wait outside. After a moment or two she joined me and remarked that she hadn’t bought anything because I wouldn’t help.
I had my sunglasses on and so my wife couldn’t see the eye tic that began as soon as she commented on my lack of assistance. At that point I was really close to reminding her that I’ve never been much help in acquiring presents that can be described as cute. But I held that thought because I was being emotionally blackmailed and any objection was going to be met with, fine, let’s just go home. You can find a girl present by yourself. This was not something I wanted and so we walked to store number two. This establishment had no sanitizer requirement so my hangnail was temporarily safe. However after a few minutes in this shop, I was annoyed once more. Not by masks though. Everyone had the concept sorted out. What pissed me off were the arrows to assist social distancing. They were being completely ignored because they made no sense. It was like Ikea had published an instruction guide for how to fuck up foot traffic, and this store had embraced the concept with enthusiasm.
We didn’t find anything cute in store number two either, and so we moved on to shop three and here’s where I had my moment. As we entered store three there was a sanitizing station. I had gloves on and hadn’t touched anything in stores one and two. I had also pushed the doors opened with my elbow and I explained that to the sanitizer security. She was unmoved and told me it was mandatory to enter the store.
I didn’t feel like I had to divulge my hangnail dilemma to her and for some reason I felt really angry. Not making a scene screaming about my rights Wal-Mart angry but still, pissed off with the world in general. So, I decided that fuck it, my quest for cute was over and I was going to employ my option to not shop anymore. So, I told my wife I was leaving and I’d wait outside for her. Sanitizer lady made a derisive sound from inside her mask and my wife followed me out because our quest for cute was apparently a dual responsibility.
In retrospect I’m not sure why I was so annoyed on that particular day. It just happened.
On the upside I’ve got to say that a mask isn’t the worst accessory when you live in a place with real winter. I find that it blocks the wind and it’s noticeably colder when you don’t have it on. Winter masks have secondary value and yes, you can still breathe. Maybe I’ll keep it around as a post pandemic accessory for all future winters.
Now. on to my next pointless reason to be irritated.
Petty cruelty. Mindless malice.
My irritation is twofold. Firstly there’s the act of malignity itself, and the damage it was intended to cause. The world becomes a slightly shittier place as a result, and shitty is already not so great , so why the hell would you want to make things shittier? Shittier then describes the second part of my twofold irritation. I can’t help but wonder why the nastiness was necessary. I understand that on occasion a little unkindness is called for, but as a justifiable retaliation and not an opening gambit.
I think though, that I understand why some people behave this way.
They’re children in adult bodies. They know in their hearts that they’re lacking as human beings and so they delight in distracting themselves from their own misery by hurling it at others. They’re the people who automatically hate and attack anyone who they believe is better than them. Of course these people would never admit that jealousy is what drives them, because they usually think very highly of themselves.
But, I think it’s true.
They’re envious, and eventually that covetous behavior evolves into a lifestyle. So, what started as a smoldering teen resentment because someone was more attractive than you, gradually grows into permanent and petty hatefulness. You can tell when the line is crossed into permanence when the cruelty becomes planned. If you spend time thinking about how to harm someone who hasn’t done a damn thing to you, then you’ve crossed that line and adopted a lifestyle of acrimony. Also if you spend your time inventing reasons to justify your actions then you’ve also crossed the line. If the reasons aren’t obvious, then they’re fabricated and your motive is bullshit designed to cover the smell that emanates from jealousy.
There are two types of line crossers as far as I can tell.
The first type are generally damaged, stupid or a combination of both. They’re the people that kick dogs and vandalize graveyards. They don’t harbor any illusion that they should be in charge of the world, and their lack of subtlety identifies them.
The second group are much more insidious. They do believe that they should be in charge of the world. On the surface they appear normal, perhaps even benign. They present that way because they’ll genuinely assist those less fortunate then themselves. But the reason they assist is because they believe that the assistance they provide is proof of their superiority.
And that makes them feel wonderful.
But what to do if a person of equitable, or God forbid, better circumstances than you, doesn’t acknowledge your superior standing? You smolder with jealousy. Then you invent some reasons to hate the person or persons making you feel less significant. Finally, you connive and plan for a moment and a method to cause them harm.
When the moment is right the snake strikes and spews its venom. Snakes strike for sustenance and out of fear. So too do these human serpents, with the distinction that the snake isn’t deluded about its motives. But regardless of the deluded intent of envy, they still strike.
And that makes them feel wonderful.
They realize, but won’t admit that they desire an attribute or a possession that they’re incapable of acquiring. They identify people that have that attribute or possession and they try to cause them harm.
And that makes them feel wonderful.
I find it irritating that so many of these snakes exist. I get it that almost everyone is a viper on occasion, but it would seem to me that if a person had a choice to not spend their entire existence in slither mode, that they’d at least give it some consideration.