Conjoined

I’m relieved that the Americans have apparently chosen to de-trump their White house. But, my relief was and is short lived, as the reality sinks in that roughly half of voting Americans thought four more years of this man was a good idea. That realization kind of takes the edge off any relief I was feeling.

Still, I’m somewhat relieved.

Because another term for Don would have been a public approval of his leadership. A vindication of his behavior over the previous four years. Another term would have empowered the man to behave in a manner that would have people yearning for the restraint and civility of his early years in the presidency.

I’m not sure if the American democracy would have been able to withstand another four years of donnybrook. From the look of things though, some seventy million people in the U.S. of A didn’t share my concern. I can’t understand why, but the voting numbers speak for themselves. Apparently the preservation of democracy wasn’t high on the list of priorities for a shitpile of Americans. Americans who oddly enough, whine incessantly about the assault on their freedom while their idiot orange child dismantles the very structures that provided those fucking freedoms in the first place.

If Don had won, I had envisioned the oval office in another two years being transformed into a Sultans suite. Don would lay sprawled among the gold embroidered pillows in all his splendid corpulence, and grant his acolytes a favor for a favor, as a naked from the waist up Hope Hicks hand feeds him chicken nuggets.

Meanwhile, over at the Justice department a contractor friend of Don Jr. would be finishing up his no bid contract to construct a labyrinth of dungeons underneath Billy Barr’s office. A dungeon to house all the scientists, democrats and journalists who haven’t offered up praise to the new American oligarch.

Anyway.

I just don’t understand what the MAGA crowd wants. It’s a confusing mix of desires that no one seems to articulate very well.

There’s the Jesus part, which is weird all by itself. Weird because Don isn’t the ideal candidate for throwing the first stone, so holding him to their collective bosom doesn’t seem to me like one of those made in heaven matches. But apparently the Christians believe that the end justifies the means. Evidently, unbridled hypocrisy is acceptable in return for an abortion ban and a pass from the supreme court to do any despicable thing you want as an expression of your piety. Screw those homo’s right? American Jesus disapproves of them, and the goddamn government is complicit in a plan to legalize pedo’s and teach our children that science is as important as God.

This is America and you have religious freedom. Christian weird ass evangelical freedom, but still, freedom.

It makes a person wonder if there really are seventy million of these Handmaid’s tale, Falwell fucktards? Sadly, the answer is maybe, if you count the Catholics and the rest of the Jesus posse. Granted, the younglings can’t cast a ballot, but assuming that the born again crowd all voted as instructed, then seventeen percent of all Americans, or roughly sixty five million people who identify themselves as evangelical were likely of Don’s tribe. If half of them are voting age then that’s a good chunk of the seventy million that voted to renew this reality shitshow for another four seasons. Some of them have even said out loud that Don is an instrument of God, and so they cast their ballot accordingly. I guess that Donnie being an agent of the lord is one of those works in mysterious ways scenario’s that God’s are renowned for.

So. let’s assume that half of Don’s voters were the Jesus and Mary gang. That still leaves thirty five million Americans to account for. Voters who determined that Mr. Trump was their kind of guy, and they would benefit from him running the show one more time.

Who the hell are these people and what do they stand to gain?

The best guess I can manage is that they gain the freedom to disbelieve anything that makes them uncomfortable. Just like their president. Fake news stuff right? Stuff like the Corona virus count, the effectiveness of masks, global warming, Don’s panoply of deception, or any hint of racial disparity as just a few examples. All fake, invented by the liberal media and the intellectual, socialist, radical left.

Which would explain the anti science, anti education crowd being a piece of the Trump puzzle. A piece that coincidentally has always gotten along splendidly with the the Christians. What I find peculiar though is that you can be a climate skeptic but at the same time embrace the new I phone. So, you can still hate people on Facebook, but you don’t have to drive a Prius.

Selectively anti-intellectual so to speak.

That’s the allure of Trumpism I think. Selective belief without any shame. A kind of faith that how you feel is more important than facts. Just like Mr. Trump.

So, I’m guessing there had to be a fairly large contingent of these people at the polls. People who believed Donnie was actually draining a swamp and keeping their women folk safe from Mexican rapists.

Then there’s the gun people. Not your everyday gun people but the ones who believe that any Democrat is going to take away their AR’s. I’m not sure how many of these people there really are, but enough of them have emerged from the woodwork in the last four years that a tactical vest and an assault rifle are commonplace accessories at every rally or protest the Americans are so fond of having.

Let us not forget the racists. Sadly, I’ve had to upgrade my estimation of their number. Remember belief without shame? Racists are a great example of that concept and they’ve flocked to Donnie like seagulls to landfills. I can only wonder what their reaction will be to a brownish black woman in the white house.

It’s supposed to be a white house for fuck sakes. If sleepy Joe croaks then a black lives matter socialist is gonna be in charge. A democratic woman from fucking California. Next thing you know the Rose garden is going to be decorated for Diwali.

Red neck rage oughta be rising.

Rounding out the group of Trump voters are the people who have always voted Republican. Doesn’t matter if the candidate is a serial killer, sex offender, just so long as they’re a republican and they promise to not raise taxes.

I think there’s lots of these people. I think they’re the silent Trump voters that the Fox hosts were talking about. These people tend to not ascribe entirely to the ideas of the die hard MAGA crowd. They can better be described as a little bit country. a little bit racist and a little bit religious, but they don’t go to the rally’s or wear the hats.

Speaking of the hats. Why the hell would you wear the clothing brand of a politician for four bloody years? I can understand a Pearl Jam t-shirt or a Vikings hat, but a politician? That’s kind of screwed up in my estimation.

Anyway.

Added together these are the seventy million Americans who came within a metaphorical pubic hair of subjecting the world to four more years of the celebrity apprentice president.

And they’re not going anywhere. So it remains to be seen how they’re going to react when their unfettered myopic brands of freedom is challenged by data, facts, science and logic.

I think poorly.

Maybe so badly that in the next American election, enough will be on the line to cause everyone to vote. Because even with the state of American democracy on the table, only two thirds of eligible voters gave enough of a fuck to vote.

Because of that apathy, the end result is sort of a tie. It makes me think of America as a conjoined twin where each talking head hates the other and tries to inflict as much damage as possible to the body.

Oblivious that the body is shared.

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