I had a boss once who took every opportunity to remind his staff that he could deal with a skeptic but would not tolerate a cynic. In retrospect, I don’t think he understood the exact definition of either word, but I think I understand what he was trying to say.
The dictionary definition of a skeptic is a person inclined to question or doubt all accepted opinions. A cynic believes that all persons are motivated by self-interest. So, I think my ex-boss was saying that it’s o.k. to ask for clarification, but please don’t assume the worst before you get answers. Answers that those clarity seeking questions are meant to provide. Or to put it another way, not everyone is out to intentionally fuck you over.
Having said all of that, I think I’ve evolved into cynicism because I do believe that the vast majority of people are driven exclusively by self- interest. People are either unaware of what impels them, or have found a decent lie they tell themselves that disguises personal gain as their real motive. Or, they’re just straight up greedy and don’t even make an effort to hide who they are, which oddly enough I find kind of refreshing. I think that no matter how a person presents themselves though, that it’s irrational to not recognise that people are inherently self-serving when evidence abounds to suggest this is the case.
I mentioned that I evolved to cynicism. I wasn’t born a cynic, although I’ve been told by family with more life experience than me, that I showed signs of being a skeptic at an early age. Maybe skepticism is to cynicism as a caterpillar is to a butterfly, and the transition to cynic is more of a metamorphosis.
I don’t think I consciously embraced cynicism as a philosophy so much as I developed the attitude as a survival mechanism. For pretty much a decade, I existed in a highly competitive, fast paced world full of ambitious and clever people. When ambitious and clever people are focused, they’re equally able to be a highly valued asset or a complete fucking nightmare. Sometimes they can be both. Depends on what kind of mood they’re in, and that mood depends on how successful they’ve been lately looking after their self-interests.
I used to spend a great deal of time thinking about why people would behave in a particular fashion. But, as my cynicism took root I found that I cared less about why. I’d settled on the idea that any behaviour at any given moment was consistently about advancing their own agenda. So, instead of fixating on why, I decided it was best to look at how they reacted when their interests were threatened.
People can pull off some amazing shit when they feel threatened. Sometimes they can fight off a grizzly, but most of the time the survival instinct isn’t as valiant as thwarting an apex predator. Most of the time the threat response involves a mixture of lying, denial, anger, aggression, vindictiveness and other assorted ignoble behaviour.
That’s the shit that you have to deal with, and the why of the matter becomes secondary. If you’re getting assaulted it’s in your best interests to defend yourself before you ponder why the assault is happening. If you knew ahead of time that you’re likely to be assaulted, then I believe it’s incumbent upon you as a thinking being to be prepared for that assault. It matters not one fucking iota whether the assault is physical or mental. You still need to be prepared.
I guess that’s cynical but I don’t care. The attitude serves my self-interests.
Later, after the dust has settles you can grab a couple of beers and wonder if the person assaulting you has a pin dick or daddy issues, but none of that shit matters when the assault is occurring.
I had the self interest discussion with a Christian once. I mention his Christianity because he eventually did the most predictable of Christian things by bringing Jesus into the mix.
I’ll get to Jesus in a minute.
The conversation or at least his disagreement with my perspective went like this:
Me: ” All people and the acts they perform are self-serving.”
Christian: “No way, people perform selfless acts all the time. What about someone who rescued children from a house fire?”
Me: ” Maybe they have always wanted to be a hero. Maybe they were thinking there would be a reward or they’d get invited to Ellen and she’d give them one of those giant cheques and they’d get to meet Justin Bieber.”
Christian: “I disagree. What if the person just reacted like a decent human being.? What if they did it for the children and didn’t ask for a reward or a guest spot on Ellen?”
Me: ” Then they did it for themselves. They went into a burning building because they knew they were physically capable. They knew that if they walked away that they wouldn’t be able to look at themselves in the mirror for the remainder of their days without seeing a coward staring back at them. They knew they’d be miserable and so they did it for themselves”
Christian: “What about Jesus?”
Me: “What about him?”
At this juncture I had managed to annoy the Christian. I guess it’s sacrilege to immediately not be overwhelmed with visions of selflessness as soon as the name Jesus is invoked.
Christian: ” Jesus sacrificed his life so those that believe in him will live eternally.”
Me: ” C’mon man. Your book says Jesus knew what he was getting into. He told his own disciples that he was going to be betrayed, denied, tortured and then murdered. He knew that the prize at the end was a seat next to his dad and the unending adoration of Christians. He knew he was getting his own book deal. Jesus made a choice and his choice was self-serving. The fact that you believe his choice was for humanity in general is in error. He did what he needed to do to satisfy his own agenda. If humanity gained something in the process then that was also an item on the Jesus agenda. Remember, your man was in communication with God and all of this was preordained. The outcome was rigged so to speak.”
And that was the end of the discussion.
But my point got missed I think. People can do things that look outwardly noble but they’re still doing what they need to do to satisfy their self-interest. If that self-interest creates a benefit for others then that was likely their intent in the first place and they get to bask in the warmth of being selfless or a martyr.
I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. If helping other people makes you tingle then all the more power to you. But that helpfulness is pursued because you’ve decided it’s in your best interests.