Heaven

I’d be shocked if I were ever to run into a person who hadn’t contemplated whether the end of your life on the planet is the end of you. That compulsory reflection forces each of us to either leave questions unanswered, or to decide to have faith in an answer we’ve chosen to believe but can’t prove. For most people that means we’re left with a smidge of uncertainty. Some people hide the ambivalence well by donning a faith mask, but for most of us the fear and uncertainty of death lingers. That abiding uncertainty is in my opinion, entirely responsible for people inventing religion.

I’m not sure how we turned that fear into shit like veiled women, no pork and holy wars. But we did, and as far as I can tell, with the exception of the reincarnation people, the other scared of dying stories involve heaven.

Or Paradise.

And so I’ve tried to envision what heaven is supposed to be like and I’ve failed utterly. Even if I can imagine a place filled with every thing that I like, I can’t imagine those things remaining likable for an eternity. I also can’t wrap my mind around endless peace and serenity, and so I’ve struggled to conceptualize an afterlife scenario that would be endurable.

We need mountains to climb and villain’s to vanquish or we get bored. I suppose heaven may have mountains, but it would seem logical that there’s a villain shortage.

I could be wrong I guess, but imagine an event or a pastime that you enjoy. Now try and imagine that same event in perpetuity. For fucking ever and ever. There is no way that could be endured, and that inability to endure draws a fine line between the concepts of heaven and hell. You might be the kind of Christian for example that feels like a Maga rally is a little slice of heaven. But I’m guessing that after a few months of non-stop Don that you may reconsider, and begin to wonder if your idea of heavenly is actually hellish.

Even your favorite music or food gets tedious after a while, and so we add variety. Things have to change. Change is the only constant in the universe. If you somehow manage to live a life of daily replication, you’re still getting older and the world around you is changing every second, every hour and every day.

And so it seems to me that if any existence endures after you’ve stopped breathing for a prolonged period of time, then that existence has to be one of constant change. This concept isn’t a new one. The whole idea of reincarnation is based on a spiritual and intellectual evolution. Spend too much time in the gutter of your current existence and you either get a repeat or a downgrade as a reward.

It’s kind of like air miles where you acquire points for travelling, and eventually earn an upgrade. But there’s a catch. You have to travel well or you get downgraded and have to sit at the back by the shitters. Or if you were not entirely a bad traveler, but a kind of shitty traveler, then you get a middle seat between two three hundred pounders for your next trip.

I think that’s Karma.

I can’t relate to forty virgins, or harps and pearly gates. I mean, come on people it’s ridiculous. If an afterlife exists then it’s about moving on. That means all of the things that are currently part of your existence are going to be left behind. Maybe, just maybe some of the people that you hold near and dear get to travel with you. But I doubt it. You’re born alone and you die alone. It doesn’t matter if people are in the room with you, the event is yours and yours alone to experience.

Assuming that we do in fact go on, I like to hope that there are many more trips in front of us. Each trip will have it’s share of challenges and will be finite. Also, each trip will be unscripted and entirely dependent on choices you make as far as the end result. Some trips will be short and others will be longer. It will depend on if you crash on take off, or if you get to settle into a long haul variety. Both trips regardless of the duration are a test to see how you manage the burdens of life.

I think that’s Samsara.

Whenever I travel this particular thought path I always end up internally debating the concept of heaven as a state where a person or essence is aware of their immortality. A state of everlasting life where time has no relevance, and I’m left wondering how then does the immortal essence conceive of value to their existence? The very fact that our time is finite is what gives that existence value. So it appears that you have to recycle repetitively to acquire enlightenment enough to exist in perpetual peace and happiness. Take enough trips and learn from them, and you leave Samsara behind.

I think that’s Nirvana.

But interestingly enough the Hindu concept of Nirvana needs to be reached while you’re living, and there’s like three or four monks who’ve managed it. Everyone else just keeps recycling, so it appears that Hindu heaven is much less crowded than Mumbai or Kolkata.

I’ll come back to the recycle theories in a moment, but first I want to list a concern or two that I have with Christian heaven and Islamic Jannah.

Both of these imagined domains basically give the occupants whatever they desire. The Islamic version talks about available women, serving boys that never age, and lots of gold, gardens and rivers. Basically things that a male that lives in the desert would probably associate with paradise.

But the never aging serving boys is an odd component. Sounds kinda pedoish actually.

Christian heaven is a little more ambiguous. Many rooms and all that, but there’s a bible quote that says we will worship, we will fellowship, we will serve, we will work, we will rest and we will rule. But the situation is temporary if I understand things correctly. Only our soul is in heaven, and then after Jesus makes his comeback our human forms will be resurrected, heaven and earth will become one, and you get to live with Jesus.

I don’t know if you have to work after that.

In both religions though it is clear that entry to the club is based on being a believer. Sins are forgivable, but you’ve gotta believe or you’re on the outside looking in. Or more accurately, on the bottom looking up.

So, here’s the problem for me with that scenario.

I know of my fair share of believers who are absolute assholes, and apparently heaven is potentially going to be crowded with these fuckers. Pedophile priests and molesting ministers. Suicide bombers and Maniac Mullahs. Those people.

People who acknowledged their mall detonation and child rape sins and were forgiven.

Believers.

So I think that in the Christian heaven it would be prudent to hope that your ascension to the realm is going to see you in one of those rooms Jesus mentioned. But one on a different floor from that brand of believers.

I don’t know enough about Islam to know if they have the many room scenario going on. I think that being an eternally young serving boy sounds pretty grim though, unless the fig and wine boy is a construct of a personal heaven. But if everyone gets their own heaven, then I see a logic conflict happening. What if your personal heaven is populated with people that don’t want to spend eternity with you? Maybe you get a construct of those people, which would imply that your personal heaven has an occupancy of one. Which brings me full circle and back to my earlier statement that life and death is at it’s core a solo adventure.

Anyway.

Intellectual evolution doesn’t seem to get as much press as spiritual evolution in the reincarnation theories, and it doesn’t appear to even be addressed in the Christian and Islamic doctrines. I’ll admit I know little about the nuances of Buddhism and Hinduism, so I’m going to assume that spiritual and intellectual advancements go hand in hand. It feels right that both would have to be attained to reach Nirvana and eventually parinirvana.

But evidently if you’re a Christian moron and a believer then you still get into heaven. But you’re eternally happy I guess. It could be I’m missing something, but that prospect sound like cruelty on a scale I can’t imagine. Godlike cruelty actually.

I’m hoping for redo’s until I realize the four noble truths and leave all the suffering behind. And maybe I’ll learn a few things on the way.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.