I was told once that I’d missed my calling. I didn’t know what to say in response to the remark, but if I recall correctly I mumbled some half assed platitude and exited stage right as quickly as I could without appearing rude.
The exact situation where this happened is not that important, but for clarity I guess I’ll provide some context. I’d just spoken at a funeral service and the person who uttered the missed calling crap was a deacon. So they were, shall we say, of a peculiar mindset.
Afterward I found myself annoyed that this persons words were stuck in my head. I wasn’t sure what to make of the remark, but the more I thought about it the more inclined I was to elevate my puzzlement to pissed off.
First of all, I fucking hate it when mythologists share. I would much prefer that they keep their opinions to themselves or share them only with others of their ilk. But, that’s not how they roll. For some reason the mythologists are compelled to share.
Sharing is so important that it becomes an obligation of membership to some of the more aggressive cults. But there wasn’t an available door to slam in the deacons face, and I kind of got suckered because I didn’t expect the remark. Plus, I was at an event that demands civility and so I couldn’t just tell her to fuck off.
So, I got to thinking. The missed calling statement was infused with religion but like most religious shit, it was confusing. If I were inclined to discuss things with deacons I suppose I could have asked her what the hell she was talking about. But the setting was wrong and talking to deacons isn’t something I find appealing so I’m going to speculate and try and translate deacon speak.
I think she was inferring that her God provides talent or ability. But, apparently unless you’re tuned into Gods own radio then you might not get the message, and then you miss your calling.
Or,
Was she telling me that because I missed this call that I’d wasted my time on the planet? I kind of got that impression because she had a tinge of regret in her voice, and in retrospect that tinge kind of pissed me off.
But I think the part that bothered me the most is the idea that a calling indicates both a god and predestiny. It’s a mixture of arrogant and mean spirited to tell a heathen, or anyone for that matter that you believe they missed that call from God and as a result have pissed their life away.
So, there’s no chance for us? It’s all been decided for us?
Or,
Does the Catholic God offer up alternatives and it’s your bad if you weren’t tuned in and missed the call? Because if that’s the case then I think God should learn how to stop working in mysterious fucking ways. It’s not a very efficient work practice and any good H.R. manager would tell God in his yearly performance review that his communication skills could use some improvement.
Or,
Is there an outside chance that the deacon was trying to compliment me for my eulogy? Maybe, but if that was the case then it’s an odd sideways kind of compliment. Kind of like telling someone that they’re a lot more attractive when their face isn’t as fat.
But regardless of her intent, I was left with the sense that she was shilling the Christian line that God has a plan for us. I fucking detest that line of thinking. The idea that it’s all in God’s hands pisses me off about as much as the often repeated line, it is what it is. Both gods plan, and it is what it is, are excuses to do nothing to change your current and future circumstances. They’re a mental shrug of acceptance with a whataya gonna do thrown in that allows people an excuse to stop thinking about and working toward a more favorable set of conditions.
I dunno man. Seems to me that your fate is in your own hands.