I’m confused about the use of the word tragic. If you’re a world class douche bag and you get killed by an active shooter, then somehow your death is still tragic. But, if that same world class douche dies of cancer or complications from cirrhosis, then they’re just some asshole the world is probably better off without.
I think that we have a tendency to attach saintly qualities to people who die as a result of someone else’s negligence or criminality. Sometimes though, people exit the planet because of their own negligence. If that negligence is deemed awesomely moronic then the tragic label doesn’t apply to them. But, collateral mayhem as a result of their idiocy is acceptably tragic.
For example. If you decide it’s too cold out and barbequing in the house is a good idea and as a result you die from carbon monoxide poisoning, then you’re a fucking idiot. But if the dog and two sleeping kids die as well, then their deaths are tragic.
Now that I’ve cleared that up let’s get back to the dead douche bags.
It’s pretty much a certainty that the latest shooting spree’s in the United States had to have one or two complete assholes that weren’t able to avoid a bullet. But, I’m not expecting Anderson Cooper to display a picture of two sisters and solemnly intone;
“Ethel and Patti were sisters from Dayton who were excited to travel to Nevada to attend the concert. Neighbors describe them as obnoxiously stupid and the kind of people you warn your kids to stay away from.” One neighbor who wished to remain anonymous reflected on the sisters passing by stating , “Since the shooting, FedEx and Amazon packages have stopped disappearing.”
or,
“Stan was a religious man. He hated gays and had an active restraining order keeping him away from women’s health clinics in the Bay Area. Stan had a criminal history that included domestic violence and uttering threats. When his neighbors heard he was at the concert they thought the odds were good that he was the shooter.”
or,
“Karen was a stay at home mom from Phoenix. She divided her time between calling I.C.E. on people who spoke Spanish in Publix, and surfing facebook looking for reasons to be offended. Neighbors tell C.N.N. that her three children are now in the custody of their fathers and so they’ll probably get vaccinated.”
I don’t expect Anderson to bad mouth the deceased anytime soon though. The odds are better in my estimation that someone from the Fox network is a better candidate. Probably not Fox news but Fox opinion hosts or one of their guests. I try to avoid Pucker and Inhannity as much as possible so it’s distinctly possible that they’ve already crossed that line a time or two and I’m just not aware of it.
Pucker’s a funny guy. Funny odd, not funny haha. It seems to me that if you’re going to expend so much energy trying to appear menacing and disdainful that you’d lose the fucking bow tie.
Mixed signals there Pucker. The vibe I’m getting is more of an annoyed circus clown. I keep expecting his voice to be really high from inhaling helium he had left over from his balloon animals.
Seeing as I’ve already wandered down an alternate thought path I might as well add another trend in the news that I find grating.
The word look.
It seems like every commentator or guest starts their narrative or response with a look of condescending exasperation, an audible exhale to reinforce the facial expression and then the word look followed by whatever the fuck is bothering them at the moment.
I get the sense that by using the word you’re implying correctness along with impatience, because you’re forced once more to explain that correctness to the peasants. As soon as you start your sentence with look then you’ve stopped offering an opinion and started lecturing. Stop that shit, it’s god damned annoying.
Anyway, back to tragedy, assholes and the American news networks.
Maybe after the next shooting or terrorist attack, C.N.N. and Fox can get together and divide the dead into groups of democrats and republicans. It would be an interesting exercise if Tucker had to say nice things about dead democrats and Anderson had to praise the virtues of expired republicans. The exercise might also provide a healing element because it would force both sides to consider the humanity of their fellow Americans regardless of their political affiliation.
But, that’s unlikely. It’s probably better to stick with your strengths and widen the divide as much as possible. The whole process creates drama and generates wealth and fame for Laura, and Sean, and Anderson and Rachael and Tucker and Wolf.
Sigh………
Regardless of how polarized American politics are right now, I’m confident that most events where crowds gather aren’t going to be entirely made up of one political persuasion, so in most cases the body count ought to be fairly even. If ten people are killed then four should be Republicans, four should be Democrats and two should be independents. Four for Fox, four for C.N.N. and two for P.B.S.
There’s bound to be instances of tragedy gerrymandering like the roof falling in at a MAGA rally or a tornado touching down at a global warming symposium, but all in all the totals should equal out pretty evenly for both parties. Hopefully the next tragedy won’t be in Florida because they’re likely to fuck up the counting part. Then lawyers will have to sit in at the coroners to make sure dead Democrats don’t keep appearing out of nowhere. Also, the Republicans would have to file a law suit claiming that only the people who died instantly count in the official tally. People who died a couple of days later or whose bodies took three days to be located in the rubble shouldn’t count.
Once the counting rules get sorted out the networks can get busy with the vilification of their dead political adversaries. If there’s some moral objection from the newscasters turned vilifiers then I would ask them a question.
” Look” I would say, “Don’t you think it’s disingenuous to shit on these people at every opportunity while they lived and then to sanctify them in death. Just go ahead and tell us how you really feel. It might even be cathartic but it’ll definitely be good for ratings.”
It might happen too. And that would be a fucking tragedy.