I’m a huge fan of nicknames. Not for me but for other people. I’m not really sure why I’ve never owned one of them myself, but I can say with certainty that I’ve suggested a few for other people that have caught on and followed them for all of their years. In my opinion, the correct blend of apropos, sarcasm, and word association is required in order to transcend the more mundane or crude application of monikers.
Mundane as in Smitty, which is applied to ninety percent of males with the Smith surname.
Crude as in any nickname that makes use of genitalia, profanity or an obvious physical characteristic. Although I have to admit that on occasion a crude nickname can be both hilarious and inappropriate.
Like this story I read about a new hire that thought his coworkers name was Keth. But he found out later the guys name was actually Keith and everyone called him Keth because he had an eye missing.
Or this one.
This kid called his grandfather Spiderman. His mom heard him using the term and was pleased as she asked her son if he called gramps Spiderman because he was the kids hero. No, the kid replied, I call him Spiderman because he has trouble getting out of the tub.
By the way, if those stories don’t make you at least smile then it’s unlikely we could ever be friends.
Actually, after some contemplation I’ve concluded that the best nicknames all poke fun at the named recipient. But at least from my perspective, the fun also has to be clever, otherwise you’re just a middle school bully that found something derisive to call someone.
Speaking of bullies.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that Mr. Trump is the first American president to hold a strategy session to experiment with nicknames for his opponents. In fact I read an article recently where Don Dorito gathered his trusted aides for the specific purpose of brainstorming a name for Ron DeSantis. Apparently Don is a big fan of DeSanctimonious. I’ll admit that the name is a wee bit clever, but Don has always been a ratings guy and so he needs to consider how well sanctimonious is going to resonate with the base.
Sanctimonious is a pretty big word, and you don’t want the base to think you’re one of those college educated elites. Plus sanctimonious is a challenge to apply to the Trump merch. Too many opportunities for spelling mishaps. You’ve got to keep things basic like sleepy Joe and crooked Hillary.
I don’t know what Don’s relationship is to Georgie Santos. They have a truth aversion in common, but Georgie boy is gay I guess, so that’s a problem. Unless he isn’t gay. The latest story from the congressman is that he wasn’t always gay, but he is now. So, I’m not sure how that story jives with the current republican attitudes toward the rainbow people. Still, Georgie is pro Don so I’m not sure Trump is ready to discard him right at the moment. Don wants George to adore him, but I think from a distance.
Anyway, the reason I brought up Mr. Santos is that I thought of a nickname for the governor of Florida that Donnie and his adminions should consider.
Rhonda Santos.
Or maybe just Rhonda.
But I’m sure that someone in the Mar A Lago meeting already thought of Rhonda. After all, these people are professionals. The best people wouldn’t miss the obvious.
Ron and Don as competitors is quite the dilemma for Fox news though. I’m sure they would glowingly approve of Rhonda as properly demeaning. I say that because apparently in Foxworld being female in a position of power is woke diversity and doomed to failure. Except for their CEO I guess. So associating Ron with feminine qualities should in their view suggest less competence and hurt his electability. But those same Fox personalities are all in with the anti-woke platform, and Rhonda is a frontrunner for leading that particular charge. So, they need to be careful to not upset Rhonda or Don Dorito.
Poor Fox, quite the predicament when you don’t know which bullies ass to kiss.
And this leads me to believing that Fox has decided that Don has some liability and Ron just might be their guy. I say this because of the plethora of Fox luminaries who have enthusiastically jumped onto the woke wagon.
And somehow Rhonda has nudged Don Dorito aside and appears to be riding that wagon.
Woke is confusing to me. It appears to span a broad spectrum, and it’s hurled by conservatives at so many targets that I’m struggling to precisely define what the fuck woke means to them. The word is obviously a weapon but it’s not exactly precise. I see an analogy to the Russian artillery in Ukraine. The word is hurled indiscriminately and it’s primary role is to intimidate and subdue your perceived enemies whilst giving zero fucks about collateral damage.
Borrowing further from the Russian playbook, the anti-wokers are doing their damndest to terrify the base by consistently claiming that the woke mob is trying to take something away from them. Their guns, their Christian ways, and their white male presidents. Meanwhile, these same conservative victims are busily taking away reproductive rights, voting rights and books. So it seems to me that this whole woke outrage bullshit is just a smokescreen to dominate the political and social landscape with their alt-white version of America.
An example.
Over the last few days the sophists at Fox have weighed in on some Biden appointees and on the Silicon bank failure. In both instances these commentators have invoked wokeness over and over again. Apparently these finger on the pulse of America analysts believe that having women and colored people in positions of power is woke diversity and destined for disaster.
And so I have a couple of questions for Fox.
First of all, are you sure that your viewership is exclusively white and male? Even if it’s safe to assume your fans trend heavily toward a lighter skin hue, I still think that you would have to at least think about Caucasian women. Maybe, just maybe there’s a chance that a Fox female might find insult in the claim that women on a bank board of directors is a terrible business model.
The strategy seems counter productive if anti-woke means pro-kitchen for the ladies of America. Unless the plan is to continue rolling back voting rights so that only white men over thirty get to vote.
Then it makes sense.
But given the current voter eligibility, to even suggest that fifty one percent of the population is less capable strictly because they’re women doesn’t seem like the wisest strategy for winning the next election.
But the neo-cons have never been very good at new strategies. They’ve used the same playbook for fucking ever, and anti-woke is just the latest iteration of the same old game plan. The plan is simple. You hurl accusations, In the McCarthy era the denunciation was branding you a communist. Then they switched to socialist and from there to radical leftist, and now they’ve settled on woke.
And if you look closely at the strategy, what you’ll see is grade school name calling. It’s a grown up version of calling someone poop face, so you can laugh at them and feel good about yourself. If you look even closer you’ll see that the accusation spoken with surety of conviction is also an excuse. An excuse to behave like an asshole toward people whose opinions scare you.
An excuse to round up your like minded buddies and deliver some Lord Of The Flies justice to the wokesters.
The cool thing about the woke label is that it looks like you can apply it liberally to damned near anyone or anything you want.
Here’s a sampling.
Blue hair, nose ring, two girls holding hands, select media, Disney, birth control, immigrant supporters, uppity women, gays, books, education, welfare, social security, black people, brown people, drag shows, weed, environmentalists, and transsexuals’.
Deep Breath…………….
Voting advocates, election workers, teachers, two guys holding hands, Hollywood, gun control advocates, abortion advocates, non-Christians, District Attorneys, school boards, Justin Trudeau, all European leaders except Orban and Meloni, Democrats, alternative energy proponents, climate change backers, scientists, professors, all the late night television hosts, LeBron, Brianna, George Soros, and Kamala Harris and Katanji Brown.
Another deep breath……………….
Just kidding. I think I’ve adequately demonstrated what I’m trying to say.
But I’ll elaborate anyway.
The woke accusation is a childish excuse to hate and to harm. It’s easy and provides a moral justification for behaving in acts of debasement. It makes them feel good. Righteous, justified and powerful.
I feel the allure sometimes too. Like I said, it’s easy to find people to hate,even without a name to label them with. But the nickname helps. It makes it easier if that’s even possible.
But the behavior is almost primal. It’s a nuance of our genetics that comes in handy when we’re in survival mode. But in all other instances it’s a destructive force. The battle for grace and honor and truth is really a battle to restrain this behavioral nuance.
I think it’s a battle worth fighting.